New Year, New Me

Well now that 2011 is in full force, I decided to write a post concerning my new attitudes and resolutions for the new year. My goal is to set attainable, realistic expectations that can actually be applied to my life instead of the outrageous, life changing ideas many come up with on a whim, simply because it sounds good at the time. I want to really make these resolutions work and in this effort, have decided to share my list so I may be constantly reminded by this blog and fellow readers! They are as follows:
1.) Be less critical (in general)
2.) Eat healthier (meaning less sweets!)
3.) Follow a workout routine and make a commitment to myself to get in better shape
4.) Write my book
5.) Read 20 books this year
6.) Go somewhere I have always wanted to go
7.) Finish my quilt
8.) Go to church more often
9.) Do not get a sunburn this year
10.) Always live by the philosophy "enjoy life, don't just get through it."

I'm certainly motivated for this year, and hopefully I will be successful with these ten practices, hope this is a great new year for all of us!

What is a friend?

I love my girlfriends. They are the people I trust completely and can relate to on all levels. They are amazing women, truly, yet I still seek company with males to broaden my perspectives on life. They give me balance, reality checks, and wonderful support. However lately I find myself at a loss with the definition of friend, for men. What are the boundaries? Why do they care about me? What makes him my friend in the first place? Will our friendship stop one day?
I care about these special people, but it seems lately their feelings appear to be disappearing. I don't know what's happened, sure people change but enough to grow apart from a person they once treasured? A person they felt totally at ease with, could share laughs, sorrows; reveal their inner dreams without any fear of judgement. I can recall so many times when these things came so naturally, and now it feels like it is a distant memory, a memory that sails onward toward the horizon. I feel so incredibly lost when I think about this thought, asking myself what could burn away a bond that seemed to be indestructible. I can't help but feel used at times, thinking that maybe the only reason they ever cared to get to know me was for personal amusement, that quickly turned to boredom. But what they don't see is that I am not a conquest. Our relationship is one that will never grow tiresome or old, instead it is one that has the beautiful possibility of lasting an eternity. Life is ever changing, and so are people, so why discard one that meant something special to you? The wonder of a friend is that they can be so many things in one body, a lover, a colleague, a classmate, even a soulmate. I know this is all part of a larger plan for us, and someday maybe it will make sense, but until then I suppose I will have to take a step away.

The Wonders of Wine

What is it about a glass of wine that makes one feel so...good? Surely, one could say the alcoholic contents but one glass is not enough to give even a remote buzz, so why the lovely feelings? Tonight, as I sit here on this very chilly December night in my bathrobe and white zinfandel I find myself quite content. Life has been rather stressful with this semester wrapping up along with holiday preparations, and tonight seemed an appropriate occasion to sit in with a glass of wine. I'm about to get started on french, revise a brief essay and write a summary of a presentation my group and I will be doing tomorrow afternoon for Eighteenth Century British drama and prose, but I don't yet find myself overwhelmed. Somehow this wine is telling me to relax, do what I know how to do, and everything will get done. I'm not certain this will be the case in the next few days when things really start intensifying but I'm going to go with that for now! Bonne soire mes amis, et acclamations!

NOOK NEWS!

I did it, I did it, I did it! I finally took the plunge and got myself a nook this afternoon. It's charging right now, so I'm not sure if I love it- but judging from the Charlotte Bronte illustrations on the screen I'm guessing I will grow quite fond of the little device. I ended up going with the Lilly Pulitzer sea shells cover and it is probably the cutest looking book I have ever seen. I can't wait to play around with it. Just wanted to post about this lovely little edition to my library as a follow-up to my prior post in March. Gotta love girls that go after what they want!

Stay

Well it's good to hear your voice
I hope you're doing fine
And if you ever wonder
I'm lonely here tonight

I'm lost here in this moment
And time keeps slipping by
And if I could have just one wish
I'd have you by my side

Oh, I miss you
Oh, I need you

And I love you more
Than I did before
And then today I don't see your face
Nothing's changed
No one could take your place
It gets harder every day
Say you love me more than you did before
And I'm sorry it's this way
But I'm coming home
I'll be coming home
And if you ask me I will stay
I will stay

Well I try to live without you
But tears fall from my eyes
I'm alone and I feel empty
God, I'm torn apart inside
I look up at the stars
Hoping you're doing the same
And somehow I feel closer
And I can hear you say

Oh, I miss you
Oh, I need you

I love you more
Than I did before
And then today I don't see your face
Nothing's changed
No one could take your place
It gets harder every day
Say you love me more than you did before
And I'm sorry it's this way
But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home
And if you ask me I will stay

I will stay
Always stay
I never want to lose you
And if I had to, I would choose you
So stay
Please always stay
You're the one that I hold on to
Cause my heart would stop without you

I love you more
Than I did before
And then today I don't see your face
Nothing's changed
No one could take your place
It gets harder every day
Say you love me more than you did before
And I'm sorry that it's this way
But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home
And if you ask me I will stay
I will stay
I'll always stay

And I love you more than I did before
And I'm sorry that it's this way
But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home
And if you ask, I will stay
I will stay
I will stay

Grandma Knows Best?

I've been hanging out with my Grandma lately and for some odd reason she keeps bringing up marriage. Funny thing is, she's discouraging it! Not entirely, but suggesting I put it on hold, (as if it's even a upcoming event!) She cracks me up, telling me about her mother-in-law's hang ups, or the outrageous situations married couples get themselves into, for ex. financial difficulties, power struggles or annoying quirks one now has to live with. In her own words "marriage at it's best is tough, you got that Kayla? T-U-F-F tuff!" I don't really know why this is her topic of conversation these days, but all the same it is entertaining. SOOO, I decided to bemuse the woman and show her my dream engagement ring to make her think I was dying to be a bride! She was hilarious, telling me how carat-crazy I am... it was great. However, if any of you future fiances would like to know what ring I like just refer to the photo. Tiffany Emerald Cut Ring 1.5 carats looks best on my hand =)

Summer Spending...Not this Year!!

Okay, okay we all know the cutest clothes are summer sundresses and teeny bikinis, and the day trips to the best shopping spots and restaurants don't like the piggy banks. Every year it's the same thing, the mentality "I AM GOING TO WORK MY BOOTY OFF" and by the end of the season, wonder where all the cash I thought I had, had gone. HOWEVER... this year is quite different. I will be working 2 jobs, PLUS odd jobs and plan to spend virtually NOTHING. I don't even know what I'm saving for, all I know is-it feels pretty darn good! Despite the fact that my closet is itching to house those delightful little Kate Spade Lover pink pumps, and that sexy pair of Chanel shades in the Sunglass Hut in Farmington, I have resisted the urge to splurge. It seems like the mature thing to do at this ripe age of twenty, I mean, why not collect checks from grueling hours on my legs, and sunny days I turned in for labor, just to see how much I dedicated this summer. I think it will be rewarding to show some discipline this year and make the less-amusing, adult choice... at least that's what I keep telling myself! =(